I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
pop tarts are not kleenex
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
