Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
