Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
