Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
