Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
