yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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