i barfeds in our rink
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
