I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
