im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
