i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
