Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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