dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The best revenge is premature balding
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize