He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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