i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
