omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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