who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
