Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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