Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
