If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
