She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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