grandma shit on top of the toilet
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
