is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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