..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
