:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
