why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
