Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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