So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
