Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
