It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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