They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
