Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
