We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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