May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
