Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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