What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
