birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
