Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
