God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
