I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
