my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They took my balls.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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