1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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