"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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