let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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