Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
