I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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