So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize