Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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