Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
