It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
