if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
