I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
