I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
