My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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