So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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