Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
