She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
