Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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