wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
