and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
