why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize