My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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