I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
