Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
