It's like a parade of train wrecks.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
