Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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