Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
