moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
